How to Stop Seeking Validation and Focus on Your Work

We all want to feel appreciated and valued for what we do. We want to hear praise and recognition from others, especially from those we admire or respect. But sometimes, we can get too caught up in seeking validation and approval from external sources, and lose sight of our own goals and passions.

Validation is not inherently bad. It can boost our self-esteem, motivate us to improve, and help us connect with others. But when we rely too much on validation, we can become dependent on it, and let it dictate our actions and decisions. We can also become addicted to the dopamine rush that comes with getting likes, comments, shares, or compliments on social media or other platforms.

Seeking validation can also distract us from our work. Instead of focusing on creating something meaningful and fulfilling, we might waste time and energy on crafting the perfect image or impression for others. We might also compare ourselves to others, and feel insecure or inadequate if we don’t measure up.

So how can we stop seeking validation and focus on our work? Here are some tips:

1. Remember your why. Why do you do what you do? What is your purpose, your vision, your mission? What do you love about your work? How does it make you feel? How does it benefit others? Remind yourself of these reasons often, and let them guide you.
2. Define your own success. Don’t let others’ opinions or expectations define your worth or your goals. Set your own standards and criteria for success, based on what matters to you and what you want to achieve. Celebrate your progress and achievements, no matter how big or small.
3. Seek feedback, not validation. Feedback is different from validation. Feedback is constructive, specific, and helpful. It helps you learn, grow, and improve. Validation is general, vague, and flattering. It makes you feel good, but doesn’t help you much. Seek feedback from people who are knowledgeable, honest, and supportive of your work. Use feedback to improve your work, not to boost your ego.
4. Detach from outcomes. Don’t attach your self-worth or happiness to the results of your work. You can’t control how others will react or respond to your work. You can only control your effort, your attitude, and your actions. Focus on the process, not the product. Enjoy the journey, not the destination.
5. Limit your exposure to social media. Social media can be a great tool for sharing your work, connecting with others, and finding inspiration. But it can also be a source of distraction, comparison, and validation-seeking. Limit the time and energy you spend on social media, and use it intentionally and mindfully. Don’t let it consume you or interfere with your work.
6. Trust yourself. You are the best judge of your work. You know what you want to create, what you want to express, what you want to achieve. Trust your instincts, your intuition, your voice. Don’t let others’ opinions or judgments sway you or discourage you. Be confident in yourself and your work.

Seeking validation is natural and human. But it can also be harmful and limiting if we let it take over our lives. By following these tips, we can stop seeking validation and focus on our work instead. We can create something that we are proud of, something that reflects who we are and what we love, something that makes a difference in the world.